Night mears

    I had a dream about you, iv had several. But for some reason I'm ok with it. 

    Iv been having so much internal conflict that its crazy. 

     I don't know weightier I should cry and curl up into a ball. Or really figure out how I could some how to resolve it. All this weight is crashing down on me and idk how to let go. I know no ones perfect but I have to own up to something. I have to make it some where even if I'm a lil different. Things can't just be wrong my hole life. I am who I am and I won't change or let any one bring me down weightier it's family or friends.

Life is short

I started a job At a nursing home at the begging of the year. And left for a month or so to live with my ex. I came back and started my job back. 

       One day I went to the break room and sat down and a coworker I worked with a few months back had pancreatic cancer. I have never felt so much pain for some one. Iv never been much of a prayer but I prayed the best I could. This woman is so sweet and she told me   

"This was the last illness I would of ever imaged having."

Mom?

So when I moved out of my moms to live with my dad. Apparently she got pissed?

      Me and my moms relation has never really been healthy. Always screaming, as if she had no other tone to speak in. It honestly upsets me that it's like this but I'm happy where I'm staying. It's small peaceful and there's not 6 people living here. 

       I'm not allowed to be in moms house with out her there? They started locking the garage? This all seems a bit much.   

Him

      Every one and his mother believes I shouldn't be with him, sometime it's a struggle. And sometimes I know it's not meant  to be. I love him. Yes I do, I will always have his heart and he will always have mine.

      I dream constantly about this boy but yet it always end in catastrophe. 

    For three years I kept silent but we always fought. If he really knew what I wanted to say he would probably cry. But that's probably only true in my head. 

    I know I'm not always right, I know I'm not perfect. You told me I was in your eyes and that was probably to long ago for you to remember. But that's what kept me going. 

   

Hai guys!

Hai I'm Anastasia,

This is my very first blog.

I'm kinda scared how much I will

Use this.

But I really have things to say that I

Would rather not on my other sites

I'm really interested in how this works.

But I have no doubt, 

This is better than a diary.